12 Steps to Self-Esteem

I believe that everyone has suffered from the feeling of poor self-image at sometime during his or her life. The negative feeling can affect confidence and self-esteem, which relate to all aspects of life, work, relationships and sexuality. Before you can begin to improve your self-image you must first believe that you can change it, and then conceive it and you will achieve it. Change doesn’t always happen quickly or easily, but it can and will happen if you really want it to.

You have the power to make those changes, but the first step is to accept and take full responsibility for your own power.

The second and most important step is to have a positive attitude. A positive attitude is the latent power you have within you, to bring about what you want. It is your own personal “happy face” designed just for you. A positive attitude is your ally; it is on your side no matter what. That’s the reason you decide to look for it and adopt it. Your attitude is your response to the events in your life, so be careful not to overreact automatically. You cannot change other people, but you can change the way you view them, and they will most likely respond to your positive notions. The fact is that you have roughly 50,000 thoughts a day and you have the choice about what kind of attitude you are going to select. That choice can make or break your day, week, month, even your life. A positive attitude is more valuable than education, talent, wealth, and triumph. It can turn a failure into a success because if you react with a positive attitude, then things can only get better. Life continuously produces your feelings concerning it! Examine what choices you have been making for yourself unconsciously and make a conscious effort to focus on the positive side. Your positive attitude will be contagious especially if you make the time to personally thank everyone who is helpful, courteous, professional or good to you. To maintain a positive attitude you must practice, because it not only makes perfect, it perfects what it makes.

  1. Write down as many causes as you can for feelings of poor self-image. It could be when someone said something unkind to you, or when you feel like you’re being taken advantage of, perhaps you feel weak when no one pays attention to you.
  2. Stop criticizing yourself and replace negative feelings with appreciative ones.
  3. List all of your accomplishments, big and small.
  4. Identify all of the wonderful qualities that you have to bring to a friendship. Write them
    all down and look at them regularly.
  5. Practice self-love by treating yourself as a valuable person. Pamper yourself every single day by doing something that makes you feel good.
  6. Turn on your positive attitude switch and think with confidence. What personality and character would you need to possess to have the life you really want?
  7. Decide how you would like to be perceived, then visualize yourself in a situation where you are standing tall, your head is held high, and you have all the personality that you want. Faking it at first is absolutely all right because soon you and your new persona will be as one.
  8. Write down all the emotions you want as people react to you in a positive way.
  9. What would you like your body image to express to others? Example: healthy, sexy, sophisticated, strong, etc. Say the answers out loud and then write them down.
  10. Look at yourself from your feet to the top of your head, preferably naked. Pause at each part of your body. Don’t move upward until you identify something positive and say it out loud. Example: “My toes are perfectly shaped,” or “I love my shoulders.”
  11. Say 3 affirmations before you start your day every day. Examples: “I am worthy of being loved” or “I’m a great catch for someone” or “I love and accept myself.” Repeat these affirmations throughout the day, 10 times each.
  12. Imagine how it would feel if all your dreams came true. Now tap into that powerful emotion and carry this feeling with you throughout each day.


  1. While I do agree Dr Ava on these 12 ways each one should be capitalized upon to enhance what you are offering.. for example.. #1 Writing down the causes.. but somewhere in there they need to REMOVE them, maybe down in another positive affirmations place reinforce this by tearing up that list and showing how it has no pwer over them or their new positive affirmations. I would love to share more with you if you are ever interested. Steve Sapato – author of The Twenty, things you need to LEARN in order to find the love of your life. Over 2500 people interviewed personally for that tiny little book.

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