Love Resolutions

Do you exhale a sigh of relief once Valentine’s Day is over and think “Thank goodness THAT’S over?” It can be easier to understand just wanting to get through the holiday if you’re single, but if you’re in a relationship what exactly are you grateful to have over? The reminder that you’re in a partnership that takes some work? Well, if that’s the case, Valentine’s Day could be seen as a chance to make some much needed “Love Resolutions.”

People make New Years Eve resolutions based on what they want to do to improve themselves. Get in shape. Quit smoking. Eat better. Valentine’s Day can be about making changes to improve your relationships, especially with the ones you love. More kindness. Listen better. Verbalize appreciation. Surprise with gifts that show I’m paying attention. Granted, a lot of New Year’s resolutions fail. Trips to the gym dwindle, cigarettes sneak back in, salad is replaced with pizza. The quick fix we were hoping for doesn’t arrive and old patterns return because they’re safe and comfortable. The difference with a “Love Resolution” is results are seen immediately and they can be life-changing and love-changing.

We are a species starving for validation and kindness. Most of us wrestle with an ongoing internal dialogue of self-doubt, questions, fear, anxiety, stress, and pain. Imagine how it might change your entire perception of life if someone were to show you only 5% more respect, love, trust and understanding. A sincere compliment out of nowhere. A five minute massage. A surprise “Date Night.” The difference between hearing “I love you” as someone holds your face and looks you in the eye versus tossing off the remark as the door shuts in the middle of morning chaos. If that’s what you want, than give it away. Only in love is that the rule. Because you cannot ask for a kindness that you are not willing to give.

It is much easier to rediscover the passion and love in your life than it is to get back into your “skinny jeans.” Because you’re sharing the resolutions with the intention of keeping them forever. You’re quitting the bad habits that endanger the health and growth of your relationship. And you’re tasting how amazing it feels to be truly seen again by the one you love.

 

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